Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Baitul Muslim untukku~


Assalammualaikum...


Sejak akhir-akhir ni, bertambah-tambah jemputan kenduri kahwin rakan-rakan yang saya terima. Seronok mendengar khabar dari rakan-rakan yang bakal meniti hari bahagia ni. Tapi mesti ada yang bertanya, cik Husna bila lagi. Saya hanya dengan jawapan skema, sebuah senyuman saja.

Sukar untuk saya menjelaskan tanggapan saya pada perkahwinan. Tapi boleh dipendekkan kepada saya lebih berfikir kepada BESARNYA tanggungjawab yang perlu di tanggung. Dapat hidup bersama dengan kekasih pilihan, dialah sahabat, dialah teman memang anugerah tak ternilai olehNya. Alhamdulillah, jika Allah mengizinkannya.. Tapi saya tak yakin dapat melaluinya, dalam kegembiraan terpalit kebimbangan yang tak bertepi.. Saya rasa saya kekurangan vitamin 'positif' dalam diri..

Semua mahkluk yang bernyawa pasti akan mati. Dan kita tak tahu bila kita akan pergi buat selamanya. Justeru selagi saya masih hidup, saya kena menjalani kehidupan hari ini dengan kegembiraan. Seolah-olah hari ini adalah 'the best in my life'. Dan apabila satu hari nanti saya berpeluang menjadi halal bagi seseorang, saya hendaklah menggalas tanggungjawab tersebut dengan gembira maka barulah memperoleh ketenangan. Tapi gembira jer tak cukup, kena ada ilmu dan persediaan. Perlu ada kesabaran dan kepercayaan. Keikhlasan; semuanya kerana Allah dan meraih keredhaanNya.

Jodoh ada atau tiada...adalah berkaitan dengan masa. Bersabarlah wahai hati, ada orang jodohnya cepat, ada orang jodohnya lambat. Tak kisah umur 25 tahun mahupun 35 tahun, yang paling penting ianya bahagia berkekalan. Berkahwin memang sunnah Nabi, tapi jika kita tidak mampu menggalas amanah itu dengan sempurna pasti menambah dosa. Berkahwin itu sepatutnya menjadi landasan seseorang insan meraih ketenangan dan mengukuhkan keimanan. Bukannya menambah kekusutan.

Saya harap satu hari nanti jika saya berkahwin adalah kerana Allah, bukan kerana kebiasaan dan ikutkan perasaan. Membina baitul muslim dengan elemen-elemen mawaddah, sakinah wa rahmah. Kita tidak perlu merisaukan jodoh, bila tiba masanya ia akan datang menjemput tetapi kita perlu membuka jalan supaya jemputan jodoh itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang. Persoalannya: Macam mana nak buka jalan kepada jodoh yang berkat lagi di redhaiNya? Hmmm...



Sabda baginda yang bermaksud:

“Janganlah mengahwini wanita-wanita kerana kecantikan. Mungkin kecantikan itu memburukkan hidup. Jangan mengahwini mereka kerana harta, mungkin harta itu menyebabkan kezaliman mereka. Tetapi kahwinilah mereka atas dasar agama. Seorang sahaya yang hitam, berbibir tebal yang beragama adalah lebih baik.

(Diriwayatkan oleh Ibn Majah)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Definitely want to timeout!

ProductiveMuslim Timeout!

by admin7 Comments

Posted on Tuesday, March 15, 2011 in Articles

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ProductiveMuslim Time OutOver the past week, I took 2 days “time-out” time, away from everything to really take a step back from the tornado of life and critically decide how to move forward.

It was such a beneficial experience, that I couldn’t wait to tell the world about it, and I published the 5 minute Friday weekly naseeharegarding this experience. This post is truly to elaborate on this exercise so that you can make the most of Time-out!

What is it?
Time-out or also known as “solitude” is a simple activity of withdrawing yourself from day to day social circles for some time on your own. Sometimes timeout is an obligation upon the person, if the people in his/her social circle are of those who lead him/her to sins or away from the pleasure of Allah. Other times, it’s simply the first step to a life of constant self-development.

Why?
My first reply to “Why would you need to sit on your own?” is “Why wouldn’t you?”. It’s amazing how our “constantly plugged, always online, always with people” lifestyle has taken away one of the oldest tradition in our Islamic history and other civilisations as well. Ask yourself: “When was the last time you were alone?” I mean truly alone! No Internet, No iPod, No TV, no Phone Call/SMS, no people. Just you & Allah. I don’t think any of us have had such an experience, but can you imagine it?

Did you ever wonder if there was a purpose behind Prophet Muhammad’s solitude in the Mountain of Light in the Cave of Heraa BEFORE he received revelation? Did you ever wonder about the the purpose we’re encouraged to do i’tikaaf in the last 10 days of Ramadan? I read somewhere – can’t remember anymore where – that solitude is the first step to spiritual ascension. If you want to stay closer to Allah, you need to start taking time out and be alone with Him.

How is it done?

Preparation before the Journey
The next question is how do you do it? how can you have a truly beneficial time-out. I’ve alluded to some ideas/tools in the weekly naseeha, here they are again with some extra points.

Firstly, you need to make a conscious decision of allocating some time out time for yourself & prepare for it; Inform those near you from family and close friends that you’re planning this journey and explain the reasons for them. Decide whether you’ll go on an actual journey (a trip to a different part of town, city, country) or if you’ll simply be locking yourself in your room/garden/mosque for some timeout time.

Decide how long will it be; I would recommend a minimum of 2 hours and a maximum of 3 days in order to be balanced in everything else. Remember, timeout is not a selfish endeavour for you to “pamper” yourself and just “run away from everything”, it’s a thought provoking critical exercise for you to be a better person. Your family/friends should notice an “improvement” in you as a person when you come back.

The next step is to ensure you have the right tools for it. Leave any distractions behind: Laptops, iPods, DVD players, even books/magazines which don’t benefit. Just take the essential: a Journal to write your thoughts, a dictaphone if you don’t like writing and prefer recording your thoughts, lots of Pens, A copy of the Quran (along with its translation) as your ultimate guide in this journey, and perhaps 1 powerful and beneficial book you really want to contemplate on, e.g. A Book of Hadeeth, Seerah, some of the well-known thought-provoking classical Islamic books that truly open up new insights for your life…etc.

During the journey,

Observe yourself. Notice yourself when you’re happy, notice yourself when you’re anxious/sad. Think about the thought process that goes through your mind to trigger these thoughts. Record your thoughts/write them down.

Review your life: Review aspect of your life. You can use the lifewheel to help and observe the 8 slices of life and on a scale of 1-10 how well developed you’re in each one. The parts you’re now well-developed, think of action plans, things you can do immediately when you come back and short/term, and long-term goals. Look at your health, your family life, your career, your Islam, your community work.

Pandora’s box: Assessing everything in your life makes you dig really deep to things which you’ve hidden or never speak about; some people will find this painful to do and would rather not do it, but my advice here is to try and “plough” through them and resolve them within. The aim here is not to open the pandora’s box of past mistakes/nightmares, but simply resolve things you have “kept inside” and never had a chance to look back at them so that you can move on with your life. The question you’re asking is not “What went wrong?” rather it’s “What can I do about it now?”. Taking action should be the key word.

Action, Action, Action
Make sure that all your thoughts result into action and are not simply ideas/thoughts with no actionable outcome. And an action needs to specific; claiming that “I’ll start pray tahajjud from now on” is not an action statement but a goal. An action statement would be a series of physical steps you can take once you get home that help you achieve your goal.

With your thoughts in your journal/dictaphone, and the actions clearly specified. It’s time to enjoy the rest of your time in time-out and prepare for the journey home. You’ll be surprised how much you miss your home and miss your family/friends when you’re away even for a short while. Make sure you let those who are close to you know what you’ve learnt so that they help you get closer to your life of self-development.

Even once in a lifetime, the above time-out can be beneficial, but doing it constantly whenever you feel trapped and not sure how to move ahead in your life is a very beneficial thing. Remember, one of the most important positives of time-out is to help you self-develop, and as ProductiveMuslims, we don’t just self-develop, but we self-develop ourselves into a life dedicated for the sake of Allah inshaAllah.

And Allah knows best.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

How to Stop yourself from Tab-Hopping

by ProductiveMuslim

29 Comments

Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 in Articles

How to Stop yourself from Tab Hopping How to Stop yourself from Tab HoppingYou know the drill: Open your e-mail, click on a couple of links, your browser pops up with some interesting articles, you read them, find and click on more links on the side bar, jump to Facebook to let your friends know about this awesome article you came across, jump to twitter to do the same, whilst at twitter you find some interesting tweets with some more links, you click on those, you get to more interesting articles… [to be continued]

I can see you sulking behind your computer screen feeling guilty about the above, not to worry, it’s a common behaviour, and I admit that I sometimes I fall prey to the above mindless surfing. Yes, Abu Productive falls into the above trap! But…the key is to catch yourself before the hours pass and you have no idea where they went. More importantly, the key is to redirect your purposeless surfing to a purposeful research/study/read.

We need to understand that the jump from tab to tab is our attempt to feed our pleasure senses in our brains with ‘mini-surprises’. Because the internet never failed to deliver a constant stream of such amusing news, it’s so addictive to find yourself constantly trying to look for the most recent, hilarious, or moving article or video clip you can come across online.

So how does one stop this mindless surfing?

1. Rather than trying to totally abolish it, control it. Give yourself 10 minutes of mindless surfing for every 90 minutes of work you do. Note: You must do 90 minutes of pure work first though.

2. Before you log online, make sure you know exactly what you want to get done, and write that on a post-it note and stick it on your computer. That way every time you’re wandering aimlessly online and you forget what you were looking for in the first place, a quick glance at the note will remind you why you went online in the first place.

3. If you’re bored at home, and really feel like doing nothing but surfing the web, try to think of interesting topics you always wanted to research but never found time for, e.g. some answers to fatwa questions you had in mind, or books on certain topics you want to know more about – just don’t allow yourself to drown in 20 open tabs with no benefit! Also, you could try picking up a book about Islam the next time you feel like learning new stuff online.

[continuing our story…]

So you arrive at those interesting articles, on an interesting site calledProductiveMuslim.com, and you come across this article and write a nice comment below and turn off the internet to focus on your work!


from the website:http://www.productivemuslim.com/how-to-stop-yourself-from-tab-hopping/

Thursday, January 5, 2012

9 Mistakes Unproductive People Make


by Faiza DeanNo Comments

Posted on Thursday, January 5, 2012 in Articles

I’ve often wondered what makes people successful. What is it that motivates them to want more, to be more? Is there a secret recipe for success? So in my quest to find these answers, I’ve read many books that talk about the keys to unlocking a successful life, and I’ve found a general theme: successful people are PRODUCTIVE people!9NumberNineInCircle 9 Mistakes Unproductive People Make

They are the proverbial ‘go getters’ who don’t just sit around and bide their time, waiting for something to happen or for things to change. They are creative and innovative in their thinking, and they know that one of the main ingredients to being successful is working smarter, not harder.

Unproductive people seem trapped in a world that is moving in slow motion. For the majority of ‘unproductives’ out there, there are common mistakes, and while they try desperately to sever the bonds of lethargy that keep them prisoner, life swiftly passes them by as they watch helplessly through the rear-view mirror.

While the literary market is flooded with millions of books and manuals which serve as excellent references to leading a productive, successful life, I think that, as Muslims, our most essential references lie in the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the Hadith.

Mistake #1: Procrastination and Laziness

“Procrastination is the thief of time” – indeed it is! Many times we put things off because we’re tired or just don’t feel like it. These are all tell-tale signs of laziness, and unfortunately the more we procrastinate, the lazier we become. The Quran mentions repeatedly the issue of procrastination: “Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “My Lord! Send me back so that I may do good in that which I have left behind”[23:99-100]. The time for doing is NOW! Those who procrastinate and waste precious time are doing themselves a grave injustice. Time is an Amaanah (gift given in trust) from Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), so use it wisely! Laziness is an unbecoming characteristic of a Muslim – rid yourself of it, Insha’Allah. Ask Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) to remove this vice. Even the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon Him) would often pray, “O Allah! I seek Your protection from anxiety and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from stinginess and cowardice, and from the burden of debt and domination of people.” [Bukhari]

Mistake #2: Ingratitude to Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala)

How often do we thank Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) for all that He has given us? Unproductive people are so focused on the things they desire that they overlook the bounties that He has bestowed upon them. “O Mankind, remember the favour of Allah upon you. Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the heaven and the earth? There is no deity except Him, so how are you deluded?” [35:3] Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) has granted us countless blessings, lest we forget! His promise to the believers is that He will increase favours upon those who are grateful to Him:“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]; but if you deny, indeed My punishment is severe.” [14:7] Try to write down five things each day, that you are truly grateful to Allah for; soon you’ll find that your list far exceeds just five things!

Mistake #3: Arrogance in prayer

Human beings have not come into existence by their own accord. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), in His infinite wisdom, has created man to worship Him and to work righteousness on this Earth; “I created not the Jinns and mankind except to worship me.” [51:56]. Nothing can ever be, except by the Divine Decree of the Almighty. We cannot expect to do things on our own without saying “Insha’Allah” (if Allah wills).”And never say of anything, ‘I shall do such and such thing tomorrow. Except (with the saying): ‘If Allah wills!’ and remember your Lord when you forget.” [18:23] Therefore, it is the duty of a Muslim to pray to Allah, to seek sincerely and to remain hopeful of the mercy of Allah. You can’t do it on your own – turn to Allah, in Him is our ultimate refuge.

Mistake #4: Lack of responsibility and ownership

Part of a Muslim’s fundamental beliefs is Qadr (Divine Decree), but we need to take responsibility at some point, for our actions. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) has given man the gift of reasoning and choice, “He giveth wisdom unto whom He will, and he unto whom wisdom is given, he truly hath received abundant good. But none remember except men of understanding” [2:269]; and therefore man knows the difference between right and wrong. On the Day of Accountability (Youmul Hisaab), we will all be questioned as to our deeds and actions, as well as how we have spent our time.

Mistake #5: A dwindling desire to seek knowledge

To become successful, you need to possess some type of skill, and this means an active pursuit in acquiring knowledge. It is narrated in al-Bukhari that the Prophet (peace and blessings upon Him) has said, “Whoever follows a path in the pursuit of knowledge, Allah will make a path to Paradise easy for him.” It is thus the responsibility of a Muslim to seek beneficial knowledge, “And say: My Lord! Increase me in knowledge” [20:114], and to pass it on to others, as this will benefit him in Akhira. Once people lose their desire to learn new things, the battle is as good as lost.

Mistake #6: “I wish I may, I wish I might”

Wishing doesn’t make it so! Waiting for something to change without making an effort is a futile exercise. In order to break the vicious cycle of unproductiveness, you need to do things differently. Einstein said “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insanity” – take risks, do things differently. Nothing will change unless YOU do! “Truly, Allah does not change the condition of a person until they change what is in themselves” [13:11].

Mistake # 7: Holding on to regrets

Let it go! “And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful” [4:110]. The past is over and Allah does not want you to dwell in it. Allah is ar-Rahmaan (the Forgiving), ar-Raheem (the Merciful). “Say: O My Servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful” [39:53]. Mistakes happen to teach us a lesson – take the lesson and move on. A common denominator among unproductive people is their inability to move forward once they have hit a stumbling block. Pick yourself up and keep moving.

Mistake # 8: Purpose

Many unproductives wander aimlessly through life, without the slightest inclination of what their purpose on this earth is. Snap out of it! Ask yourself why you are here. Surely, Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) does not create without purpose; He has placed you here for a very specific reason. Your challenge is to find that purpose. Don’t waste precious moments on trivialities, rather seek out things that will earn you the pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and bring you closer to Him.

Mistake # 9: Fear of hard work

There are no shortcuts on the road to success. Man must work hard in order to achieve success, both in Dunya and Aakhira – “There is nothing for man but what he strives for” [53:39]. Both physical and intellectual labour are recognized in Islam.

So work hard – Allah has ordained it for you! ”As to those who believe and work righteousness, Allah will pay them (in full) their reward; but Allah loveth not those who do wrong.”[3:57].

I hope these words will inspire you to make the changes necessary in your life, Insha’Allah. Let go of negative thoughts and rid yourself of bad habits. Find your purpose and make every minute worthwhile. “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today” – Lord Chesterfield

About the Author

Faiza Dean is a vibrant young professional – her field of specialization is adult learning and she is employed as a Learning and Development Consultant for a multi-national company based in South Africa. She is currently completing a degree in Applied Psychology through the University of South Africa (UNISA). She holds qualifications in Project Management and Business Administration and apart from studying part-time, is passionate about her family, friends and good food! Faiza’s motto is PURPOSE and in an effort to fulfill her purpose in life and give back to her community, she offers voluntary counseling on a no-charge basis; this also includes career guidance to high-school students.